MY BEST FRIEND, RHODA

My Best Friend, Rhoda

I recently heard the news that my best friend, Rhoda has terminal brain cancer. One might ask how can Rhoda be my best friend when I have never met her or her creator, Valerie Harper? Rhoda has been my best friend since I first saw her on The Mary Tyler Moore Show then in her own sit-com aptly titled Rhoda. Mary was the girl that turned the world on with her smile but Rhoda was every girl. Rhoda was the essence of what a woman strived to be - funny, warm, intelligent, self-deprecating, resilient, and independent. Rhoda was always there when I needed her, just like what a good friend does. I could always turn on the television and seek comfort from Rhoda lingering in her studio apartment, dressing the mannequins in the department store window, or hanging out at Mary’s apartment dishing the latest mishap in her life. Rhoda just seemed to resonate with me at the time and throughout my life. Maybe it was because it was the 1970’s, when the liberation movement exploded and women seemed to be soaring and climbing higher and higher than ever before. Mary and Rhoda became a modern day Lucy and Ethel, with careers to boot! No one could have seen that coming? 

Although Mary was the central figure of the independent, single girl trying to make it after all in a career, Rhoda was all of these things too but with an every ones best friend quality that made her likeable. Rhoda idealized characteristics that resembled your mother, sister, grandmother, aunt, friend and lover all in one. Rhoda was able to capture all the neurotic feelings that all of us go through with figuring out our career path, looking for a mate, and obsessing over our looks and weight with angst and anxiety. We saw Rhoda looking for love, finding love and losing at love all with a sense of humor and compassion that life was gonna be okay however it all turned out. As I would write my thoughts down in my journal, I would say them aloud as if I was translating them to my best friend, Rhoda who would laugh and cry with me. Rhoda would challenge and inspire me not to give up on my dreams and move forward to pursue my goals and aspirations. Although after all these years, I have never met Rhoda, she is here with me every day. I carry the image of Rhoda with me and the flawless performance of Valerie Harper that created such an iconic character. I have tried to instill the characteristics of Rhoda within myself in the respect of being that “go to friend” for others filled with wit, sensitivity and honesty that Rhoda conveyed to myself and millions of television viewers. I find myself trying to think of what to say to my best friend, something reminiscent of what Rhoda would say and what comes to mind first is “You know what, kid – everything is gonna be alright.”