A NEW YEAR 2010
A New Year 2010 – what does that mean? I remember in 1984 when I had just turned 18 the sequel to 2001: A Space Odyssey called 2010: The Year We Make Contact was released in theaters. I couldn’t even conceive of life in the upcoming year 1985 so I surely couldn’t think of 2010. But here we are now approaching 2010. It has been 25 years and at times it feels like yesterday and then it feels like so long ago. When I think back to 1984, I was in my senior year of high school coping with my continued harassment and bullying that had been going on for seven years. I had managed to meet some great new friends including one that I had a mad crush on, at the vocational school I attended which was starting to make life easier. I remember thinking then “What am I going to do with my life?” and only wanting to leave to move to California. I always thought living there or somewhere else would make things better. Flash Forward 25 years later and I cannot believe all that I have accomplished and what more there is left that I want to do in my life.
This past year has been a journey of extreme challenges and new beginnings for me. I was laid off from my job of 18 years. In that moment of “What the hell am I going to do?” financially there was profound relief not to have to go back to this dead end job day after day, month after month, year after year. Although things have been difficult, I know there was a purpose for this to happen. I have begun to attend college, which never would have happened if I hadn’t lost my job. I never had the courage to take that step to go back to school. I’m so happy I have been taking classes and even if I do not continue or graduate I will have taken that step to go back. You see the self doubt running through my veins with that previous statement. I’m already covering my bases to set myself up for failure. Unfortunately that is what I have done in the past as many of us do to ourselves. I want to conquer the world but do not have the self confidence to do it. At 43, I’m still battling my demons of low self esteem and no self confidence.
I look back and there are many things I wish I had done then I think of all the things I did do that have made me very happy. I made it through my school years with all the torture and abuse I endured. I managed to find some good friends to help me along the way. I made my dream of moving to California a reality. I cherish my time there and have fond memories of it. This is where I met my life partner and started my family with our first child. There are so many falsehoods we believe marriage and family to be for us. I have come to the realization that families are made up of many different individuals which make each one unique. You may have a Mom and a Dad, a Mom or a Dad, two Moms or two Dads, or you might have a multi racial or ethnic family but whatever it might be, it is your family original to you. In a marriage there are going to be countless problems and challenges between you and your partner. You have to be honest with yourself and your partner to succeed. I can’t tell you how many times I have said “Fuck this Shit!” and “Why in the Hell am I here dealing with this?” But over the years, I know this is my best friend and I cannot think of life without her. We have learned and are still learning that communication is the key to success whether it be in marriage, life, or a career. We still have our battles and we will always have them but at the end of the day we are there for one another. We struggle with our issues every day and at some point we may look at one another and part our ways. If we do, I will not look at it as a failure but as a success since we will have shared a great ride together with three extraordinary children.
As I look forward to the New Year, I think of finding a cure for my torticollis which I was diagnosed with five years ago. I want to be able to live without the pain and discomfort that I have endured over the last few years. I want to be a healthy functioning adult who can enjoy my life and family. I look forward to continuing with my writing in a PAID position to secure my financial future for myself and my family. I just self published my first book and wish to be able to continue my writing journey with more books as I have a few in the works. In all my ranting and raving, it is a new year so live it to the fullest. Be safe, happy, and enjoy every moment – HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010!!!
This past year has been a journey of extreme challenges and new beginnings for me. I was laid off from my job of 18 years. In that moment of “What the hell am I going to do?” financially there was profound relief not to have to go back to this dead end job day after day, month after month, year after year. Although things have been difficult, I know there was a purpose for this to happen. I have begun to attend college, which never would have happened if I hadn’t lost my job. I never had the courage to take that step to go back to school. I’m so happy I have been taking classes and even if I do not continue or graduate I will have taken that step to go back. You see the self doubt running through my veins with that previous statement. I’m already covering my bases to set myself up for failure. Unfortunately that is what I have done in the past as many of us do to ourselves. I want to conquer the world but do not have the self confidence to do it. At 43, I’m still battling my demons of low self esteem and no self confidence.
I look back and there are many things I wish I had done then I think of all the things I did do that have made me very happy. I made it through my school years with all the torture and abuse I endured. I managed to find some good friends to help me along the way. I made my dream of moving to California a reality. I cherish my time there and have fond memories of it. This is where I met my life partner and started my family with our first child. There are so many falsehoods we believe marriage and family to be for us. I have come to the realization that families are made up of many different individuals which make each one unique. You may have a Mom and a Dad, a Mom or a Dad, two Moms or two Dads, or you might have a multi racial or ethnic family but whatever it might be, it is your family original to you. In a marriage there are going to be countless problems and challenges between you and your partner. You have to be honest with yourself and your partner to succeed. I can’t tell you how many times I have said “Fuck this Shit!” and “Why in the Hell am I here dealing with this?” But over the years, I know this is my best friend and I cannot think of life without her. We have learned and are still learning that communication is the key to success whether it be in marriage, life, or a career. We still have our battles and we will always have them but at the end of the day we are there for one another. We struggle with our issues every day and at some point we may look at one another and part our ways. If we do, I will not look at it as a failure but as a success since we will have shared a great ride together with three extraordinary children.
As I look forward to the New Year, I think of finding a cure for my torticollis which I was diagnosed with five years ago. I want to be able to live without the pain and discomfort that I have endured over the last few years. I want to be a healthy functioning adult who can enjoy my life and family. I look forward to continuing with my writing in a PAID position to secure my financial future for myself and my family. I just self published my first book and wish to be able to continue my writing journey with more books as I have a few in the works. In all my ranting and raving, it is a new year so live it to the fullest. Be safe, happy, and enjoy every moment – HAPPY NEW YEAR 2010!!!
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