WHY I WANT A WIFE TOO?
My first response to reading Judy Brady’s essay, “Why I Want a Wife” was that I wanted a wife too. I mean who wouldn’t want a domestic goddess to be there to meet all of our needs – physically, mentally, and emotionally. I would want a wife to be able to take care of me. I would want a wife to do all the things I do not want to do for myself. I would want a wife for everything. I thought of Judy’s frustration with seeing a male friend, who was a recent divorcee, out about town looking for a new wife to do all the things that a “wife” is supposed to do for their spouse. As I look deeper into this topic, I see the value of another person being diminished. It is not about loving another human being but just the opposite. It is about seeking out to find another person to be your maid, servant, slave, housekeeper, cook, therapist, and sexual partner.
It is clear that Mrs. Brady’s essay, which was published in the first issue of Ms Magazine in 1972, is reflecting the voice of a wife and mother in the middle of the women’s liberation movement. Judy’s satirical look at the meaning of a wife is layered with her comic wit while filled with the bitter truth of the multiple duties that a wife must possess. I can feel her words of feeling like a trapped 1950’s housewife wanting to challenge herself with something else – college, career, something more than just wife and mother. When Judy is quoted as saying “I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after me," she is basically stating she is frustrated with, in her mind handling all the day to day household responsibilities. She would like to be appreciated and acknowledged for what she does on a daily basis. Also, I think she is expressing her desire to be able to get out and explore something new and different. I know for myself I can relate to what she is saying in her essay. I know I take my spouse for granted sometimes as my spouse takes me for granted too. I think we all feel that sometimes we do more household duties, chores, or responsibilities than our partners. This can lead to feeling unappreciated, dissatisfied, and depressed. I know this has happened to me and to my spouse over the years.
When Mrs. Brady states “I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife’s duties,” she is letting readers know of her discontent however, if you read between the lines, a wife shouldn’t voice such feelings. Again, this is the stereotypical cliché presented in the 1940’s and 1950’s that the woman’s place is in the home and to not have her own voice. I know in my own relationship that my spouse and I both let our feelings known if we have resentment or animosity over an issue. My partner and I have the “traditional roles” reversed in our marriage. I, as the husband tend to do the household cleaning, laundry, yard work, and some light cooking while my wife will handle simple household repairs, programming electronics, plus some cooking and baking. We are not bound by the traditional roles that have been presented to society over the last 50 to 60 years.
When Judy quotes “If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one," she is expressing her feelings of abandonment in her marriage. Her writing is filled with an underlying message of resentment and contempt that the male spouse is given free rein to do whatever they choose to do in a marriage. I understand the point made with this statement however, I cannot relate to it. I think more that if my marriage was over and could not work things out, I wouldn’t be looking for a replacement spouse. I would want to be free and independent. I would want to take the time to learn why the relationship didn’t work and what I needed to do to make changes to myself before I entered into another relationship.
With all of the stereotyping that Mrs. Brady alludes to in her essay, which was written in the height of the feminist’s movement reflecting male to female relationships, many of the characterizations ring true even in today’s modern age. I think it was written as her way to rebel against the traditional ideal of marriage and what a wife represents to society. I know for me growing up in a later generation, it is difficult to grasp the concept of a one parent working family where the husband and/or father is working while the wife and/or mother is staying at home taking care of the family. I grew up with two working parents so cannot relate fully to this traditional view of a family. However, over the years I can see my family still exhibited some of the traditional stereotypes of a one parent working family. Although both my parents did work, when my Mother came home she always did the cooking, cleaning, and laundry. She managed to instill in her children, both boys and girls to do all of these things and not expect someone else to do them for you.
Given the job description that Judy Brady provides of a wife in her essay which reads like a want ad for a servant, the main thought that resonates is who wouldn’t want a wife. I know I certainly want a wife, too.
It is clear that Mrs. Brady’s essay, which was published in the first issue of Ms Magazine in 1972, is reflecting the voice of a wife and mother in the middle of the women’s liberation movement. Judy’s satirical look at the meaning of a wife is layered with her comic wit while filled with the bitter truth of the multiple duties that a wife must possess. I can feel her words of feeling like a trapped 1950’s housewife wanting to challenge herself with something else – college, career, something more than just wife and mother. When Judy is quoted as saying “I want a wife who will keep my house clean. A wife who will pick up after me," she is basically stating she is frustrated with, in her mind handling all the day to day household responsibilities. She would like to be appreciated and acknowledged for what she does on a daily basis. Also, I think she is expressing her desire to be able to get out and explore something new and different. I know for myself I can relate to what she is saying in her essay. I know I take my spouse for granted sometimes as my spouse takes me for granted too. I think we all feel that sometimes we do more household duties, chores, or responsibilities than our partners. This can lead to feeling unappreciated, dissatisfied, and depressed. I know this has happened to me and to my spouse over the years.
When Mrs. Brady states “I want a wife who will not bother me with rambling complaints about a wife’s duties,” she is letting readers know of her discontent however, if you read between the lines, a wife shouldn’t voice such feelings. Again, this is the stereotypical cliché presented in the 1940’s and 1950’s that the woman’s place is in the home and to not have her own voice. I know in my own relationship that my spouse and I both let our feelings known if we have resentment or animosity over an issue. My partner and I have the “traditional roles” reversed in our marriage. I, as the husband tend to do the household cleaning, laundry, yard work, and some light cooking while my wife will handle simple household repairs, programming electronics, plus some cooking and baking. We are not bound by the traditional roles that have been presented to society over the last 50 to 60 years.
When Judy quotes “If, by chance, I find another person more suitable as a wife than the wife I already have, I want the liberty to replace my present wife with another one," she is expressing her feelings of abandonment in her marriage. Her writing is filled with an underlying message of resentment and contempt that the male spouse is given free rein to do whatever they choose to do in a marriage. I understand the point made with this statement however, I cannot relate to it. I think more that if my marriage was over and could not work things out, I wouldn’t be looking for a replacement spouse. I would want to be free and independent. I would want to take the time to learn why the relationship didn’t work and what I needed to do to make changes to myself before I entered into another relationship.
With all of the stereotyping that Mrs. Brady alludes to in her essay, which was written in the height of the feminist’s movement reflecting male to female relationships, many of the characterizations ring true even in today’s modern age. I think it was written as her way to rebel against the traditional ideal of marriage and what a wife represents to society. I know for me growing up in a later generation, it is difficult to grasp the concept of a one parent working family where the husband and/or father is working while the wife and/or mother is staying at home taking care of the family. I grew up with two working parents so cannot relate fully to this traditional view of a family. However, over the years I can see my family still exhibited some of the traditional stereotypes of a one parent working family. Although both my parents did work, when my Mother came home she always did the cooking, cleaning, and laundry. She managed to instill in her children, both boys and girls to do all of these things and not expect someone else to do them for you.
Given the job description that Judy Brady provides of a wife in her essay which reads like a want ad for a servant, the main thought that resonates is who wouldn’t want a wife. I know I certainly want a wife, too.
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